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Why Do So Many Bisexuals Complete Up In “Straight” Relationships?
When I started dating a woman for the first time after years of happily dating men, I had a go-to joke ready for when I was called upon to explain my sexual orientation to the confused: “I’m half gay. Only on my mom’s side of the family.”
I’m one of those people who’d always misguidedly “hated labels,” and I actively eschewed the phrase “bisexual” for years. I went on to date a number of trans guys, and in my mind, “bi” was also indicative of a gender binary I didn’t believe existed. I’ve since come to understand that actually, the “bi” implies attraction not to two genders, but to members of both one’s own and other genders, and that the bisexual umbrella includes a wide rainbow of labels connoting sexual fluidity. These days, I wear the “bisexual” label proudly.
Given all that struggle and growth, my current situation might come as a surprise: I’m in a committed, long-term affair with a cisgender man who identifies as straight—just like a startling majority of other multi-attracted women.
Dan Savage once observed that
Why do some straight men have sex with other men?
According to nationally-representative surveys in the United States, hundreds of thousands of straight-identified men have had sex with other men.
In the new book Still Straight: Sexual Flexibility among White Men in Rural America released today, UBC sociologist Dr. Tony Silva argues that these men – many of whom enjoy hunting, fishing and shooting guns – are not closeted, bisexual or just experimenting.
After interviewing 60 of these men over three years, Dr. Silva found that they like a range of relationships with other men, from hookups to sexual friendships to secretive loving partnerships, all while strongly recognizing with straight culture.
We spoke with Dr. Silva about his book.
Why do straight-identified men have sex with other men?
The majority of the men I interviewed reported that they are primarily attracted to women, not men. Most of these men are also married to women and prefer to have sex with women. They explained that although they loved their wives, their marital sex lives were not as active as they
Bisexual men more prone to eating disorders than gay or straight men, investigate finds
Bisexual men are more likely to experience eating disorders than either heterosexual or gay men, according to a new report from the University of California San Francisco.
Numerous studies have indicated that gay men are at increased risk for disordered eating — including fasting, excessive activity and preoccupation with weight and body shape. But the findings, published this month in the journal Eating and Weight Disorders, propose that bisexual men are even more susceptible to some unhealthy habits.
In a sampling of over 4, LGBTQ adults, a quarter of bisexual men reported having fasted for more than eight hours to guide their weight or appearance, compared to 20 percent of gay men. Eighty percent of bisexual person men reported that they "felt fat," and 77 percent had a formidable desire to forfeit weight, compared to 79 percent and 75 percent of gay men, respectively.
Not everyone who diets or feels obese has an eating disorder, said a co-author of the study, Dr. Jason Nagata, a professor of pediatric me
Previous research has established that people can tell, more often than not, whether a man is queer or straight from his voice alone. This ability to identify gay men from their voice has been dubbed “gaydar”—that is, a kind of radar for detecting gayness.
Gaydar
The reason why the voices of gay men tend to be distinct from those of straight men has been widely debated. Since we know that sexual orientation is due to the way that the brain was formed during prenatal development, it may be the case that these brain differences also lead to vocal patterns and behavioral mannerisms that are typically gay.
Other psychologists, though, contend that the “gay voice” comes from social learning. As men interact with the lgbtq+ community, they pick up ways of speaking and acting that signal membership in the group. After all, we all absorb to adjust the way we talk and act according to the standards of the various groups we belong to.
Whether the gay voice is due to nature or nurture, it’s also the case that gay men no longer have to cover their identity. This is because society has becom